It was the last day of school for the year 12 students today. A farewell assembly was held after school, and was very emotional for some friends, who had been here for quite a few years.

Being here for a year only thus far, I guess it's rather hard to relate to the memories and times that we'll be leaving behind. Nevertheless, it is still sad, knowing that some of the people I have met in these short 9 months, I'll probably never meet or talk to them again.

Looking through the notes and messages left by people who signed in my book, I realize with a jolt that, this is it. It's finally ended. My years of schooling have ultimately come to this, and there would be no more fixed timetables. No more familiar faces that we'll be able to see everyday, none of that easy classroom atmosphere; the caramederie between friends and teachers. No more uniforms, no more desks and chairs... no more ...

Somehow, graduation just doesn't feel complete without my own friends beside me. It is a special event, a once-in-a-lifetime event; high school graduation, they say, is the most memorable and meaningful, even more than university graduation (since it's not as personal). And I really would have loved to share the memory of graduating high school with my own friends, whom I have known for more than 5-10 years. Knowing that we share all these memories and times together would make it much more meaningful.

Still, these 9 months here at Murdoch College has taught me lot, despite everything. There are new memories, new friends, and I shall treasure them always.

It's sad. I was almost in tears myself, seeing my closer friends sobbing. But... it's just that, this is it. Next year, most of us would have gone on to university, and it would be a completely different and drastic switch from school life.

You guys who are still in college... treasure your days while you're still in "school". We may complain, but ultimately, we'll miss those "good ol' days".

I have to admit though, I'll miss those days back in SAS much more than I will here. But what makes my year here more poignant, I guess, is just that this is my final year of normal schooling as we know our lives to have been for the past 10 years. The routine has ended.

Tomorrow is graduation ceremony and ball; and that would mark the climax and ending of high school.

Another chapter has closed; life goes on.

When we look back one day, would we wish that we could have done something different? Regrets, disappointment, the bittersweet memories, joy, laughter, sadness... Dissolving into one, fading into oblivion as the years catch up with us...

I think I'm just too sensitive sometimes... =(

But I'll definitely miss everyone and the memories.

Sorry for the lack of updates... Blogging still isn't really something I can get used to. There's so many things I want to say, I wish to say, I need to say, but...

Sigh. Been contemplating whether I should let you guys know what's been going on... Feel really messed up, and... oh heck it. I mean, only my friends read this blog, so it's alright I guess. I've told Hui (you would have told Juang, I think) and Joyce a little bit about what's going on (don't know if you guys know what I'm referring to), and last night was on the phone for three hours with Tiong (who unashamedly admitted that he never reads this blog nor read any of my emails earlier in the year. Whacks him).

*stares at the screen*

I think I'll send an email after all...

I miss home... Just one month more... just 30 more days... And my mom still hasn't changed my flight. Don't really want to bother her about it as she's got her hands full already... and it's kind of hard for her to do much, I would think, with her flying in and out of Brunei...

You guys are probably wondering what I'm rambling about... It's ok. I just need to rant. Don't need to understand.

I'm on the verge of panic.

This is so random.

Anyway, auditions on Saturday were... hm... so-so. It took only about 15 min.

After a church brother dropped me off at University of Western Australia, I went to the building where the auditions were held and one of the teachers told me that I could warm up in the other room first, if I wanted to. Apparently they were ahead of time, and were... quite free, so to speak. So I went and just "warmed up" my hands. xp

I had a feeling I was taking longer than expected, so I rushed back and with my heart in my mouth, told them, "Yes, I'm ready."

As far as auditions go, they don't usually listen to the whole song, just a bit of it, so I was already expecting to be "stop"-ped in the middle of my playing.

I started off with Bach's Praeludium and Fuga 12 in F minor.

They listened to the whole of the Prelude. x_x

"Thank you... can we just have a little of the Fugue, please?"

Ok.

I played the first two pages, and just when I was about to turn the page -

"Okay, that's alright. Thank you."

I thought I did rather ... *ahem* good for Bach.

But panic set in when I started on my second piece, Schubert's Impromptu in Gb major. The keys felt foreign to my fingers - I couldn't, simply could not control the inner voice (you don't have to understand what that is) and bring out the melody. My pedalling was a bit weird as well. It sounded terribly messy to me and I was desperately trying to bring the piece under control, but it went further and further beyond my reach. I was almost about to give up by the end of the second page, and actually stopped at the same time the teacher coughed and said,

"Stop."

I breathed. But I felt terrible.

Then, the teacher got up and went to the piano, while saying,

"I'll ask you some aural questions now; I'll be playing some chords on the piano" - He seated himself and played some chords - "and let me know what you think it is - inversion, chord, etc. It's okay if you don't know it."

I grinned nervously and informed him, "Oh... I've... forgotten most of my theory."

"Oh, it's no problem, just try your best."

*swallows hard* I have forgotten virtually everything I've learnt about inversions and cadences. Die.

I stood by the side of the grand piano. It felt like an eternity while he played some random chords and asked me to tell him what I think it is... I felt like a piece of trash on the ground and everyone's trampling on me. It felt like ... a piano exam.

Then it was over. I sat down at the table (there was another old guy sitting there, who was introduced to me as a professor in composition) and the teacher asked if I had any more questions.

Still in a state of panic and nervousness, my mind was blank. So I said, "No."

And that was it.

When everything's over and done with, and calm and peace returns again, now I have some questions to ask him. -_-" Bleh.

Phew. I actually feel better after typing out all this. Lol.

Kudos to you all who actually read up till here. =D

Let's have a party at my place when I get back again...! Hahaha. But please, this time:

1. No throwing cakes in the pool.

2. No shoes and slippers allowed in the water.

3. Most importantly, please don't throw me into the water ... =X

I could still remember that day, after everyone was out and my dad returned home from work... and the sight of him standing by the pool, staring at the water.. =S

Don't think I need to say more. =P

I ought to be sleeping now but am not..

Many things on my mind for the past week. It's been one nerve-racking, rollercoaster week.

I know that I can always depend on God in spite of everything happening... Just praying and talking to Him leaves me with a great sense of peace in my heart. But I still need to talk to someone... but I don't really wish to bother you guys in Brunei 'cause of your AS exams...

Anyway.

Auditions tomorrow afternoon at UWA. A bit nervous, but just going to do my best. I should look presentable, so am deciding to wear a dress on one of those extremely rare occasions. =/

Btw... Hasinah!! Saw your tag, and yeah, I do have the Finding Neverland OST, can't stop listening to it everyday =) I'll email you soon! And also, Bev... hope you enjoyed your birthday lots! *hugs*

I remembered - sometime last year? - a conversation I had with my seven-year-old twin cousins, while on a trip to Miri.

They're eight this year; I'm ten years older than them. They're both looking more and more identical each time I see them... Most people can't tell them apart at first glance, but to family and close friends, you can tell the difference immediately. One has double eyelids, one doesn't... I think that's quite an obvious difference, but anyway, they're looking more and more alike now. The last time I saw them was in January this year when I went for my driving theory test... =( I miss my cousins.

In the car, on the way to this famous seafood restaurant in Miri (can't remember its name.. some of you might remember which one it is =P). Conversation was originally in Mandarin... well, I was struggling to explain myself in Mandarin to the twins, anyway.. x_x ..


Me: (looking at the twins and thinking aloud) Sharon... Shirley... ni men zhi dao ni men shi 'twins' mah? (Do you know that you are twins?)

(I can't say twins in Mandarin. Rather, I don't know how. XP)

(Stupid question, I know, but don't laugh at me for stating the obvious.. =( they were only 7 then, and probably didn't realize the significance of being twins...)

Shirley: She me shi 'twins'? (What are twins?)

Me: (dumbfounded)

I was at a loss for words. I turned towards my mom helplessly. I think my mom and my aunt explained to both of them, but anyway:

Me: Yeah, well, anyway, you both are very special. (still in Mandarin)

Shirley: What is 'special'?

Me: (at loss for words again. Turn to my mother) Ma, how you say 'special' in Chinese?

(Sorry lah, my Chinese so teruk... -_-")

After I got the word from my mom, I tried again.

Me: Okay, do you know that because you are twins, you are very special?

Sharon: But I don't want to be special...

Shirley: (agreeing with her twin. For some reason, the idea of being special wasn't appealing..)

Me: -_-"

Anyway, kids are cute that way. ^_^ After that, I tried to tell them that not many people have got twins, and that's why they're special. With a bit of help from my aunt and mom, they learnt the meaning of being twins that day.

*smiles proudly*

Eh-seh. Lol. Like I'm some kind of heroine like that. Haha. No lah. But it's interesting to talk to little kids sometimes. =)

I can't wait to see them... and my one-year-old baby cousin, living just next door... Haven't seen her in half a year, and she can already say 'mommy', 'daddy', 'jie jie' in that short time I'm gone... *sobs*

It's been a long day; long week, in fact; some things have happened, but a blog isn't exactly the best place to tell, is it? =D

I went to Burswood Dome this afternoon with a couple of friends, where they were having a huge discounted sale on every item which the State has confiscated from people, I presume, who were selling or importing or exporting illegally, so as you can imagine, you have all these original CDs and books, and clothes... and wah-lau, I have to say, I have never ever seen so many... *ahem* lingerie in my entire life. Rows and rows of panties and bras, all sorted into size lagi. Haha, it's almost hilarious. I mean, I don't understand how women can stand there and buy in front of everyone.

But that's beside the point. =P

So anyway, all these goods are for sale (books are sold for $5 each, regardless), while CDs basically were priced below $20. Even branded clothes were on sale at throwaway prices (a pair of Lee jeans cost you just about $20. I mean, good jeans sell for at least more than $30, I think??). The money from all the sales will eventually go to the government.

As expected, (and unsurprisingly), I spent my whole time in the CD and books section. Unfortunately, the books didn't appeal to me. At all. They were all obscure books by unknown authors, and all seemed boring to me. Sad. At $5 each, it was really a steal, but I don't want to anyhow buy books and then not read them later!

Friend A bought 2 CDs, friend B bought 5 CDs (I think) and friends C and D bought some T-shirts.

Me?

Just one CD. Haha. Most people were walking out with bags (what they buy, I also don't know). But I'm fickle that way. The CD is the original soundtrack for Finding Neverland.

I'm listening to it now, and it is just beautiful. It's very classically-orientated, and it really appeals to me. I remember watching the movie on the plane back to Perth (or was it to Brunei) in April. And (again) unsurprisingly, I tend to get distracted by the background music while watching... bad habit, I know, since I also tend to miss out on certain parts on the movie while I space out, straining my ears to listen to the soundtrack (which happened when I was watching Batman Begins, as well, lol.) And so yeah, when I snap out of my reverie, I'll be like, haaarh?? because the scene has changed.

The movie itself is really good; I guess I go more for these kind of films, the serious kinds - don't know what genre you would put them under (like Big Fish, The Pianist, etc.); but I do enjoy action films lah.

But the soundtrack!!! It's just.... so beautiful... the melody, the structure, the flow from one track into the other... the piano, violin... sigggh... *blissfully slips off into deep, pensive mood as she contemplates the music*

Um. *wakes up*

I'll be playing this CD over and over again for the next few days. =D

I've saved the best news for the last: My dad is saved!! I called my mom yesterday afternoon, and when she told me that my dad has accepted Christ for a few months now, I just couldn't help it; I broke down and cried on the phone. Even now, I'm still in a state of surprise. How? But this is kind of tied in with the "stuff" I mentioned at the beginning. And... my conscience is telling me, "This is a blog you're saying this in right now," and I shall stop here. You can only say so much in a blog. I don't know for you guys who have a blog, but for me, a blog can never truly fit the criteria of a "personal diary".

Anyway, can't wait to see you guys back home... Take care, everyone, and night!

I was just net surfing, and realized that Disney tends to base their stories on other stories. And just how much they "distort" the true story. So I did a bit of "Google-ing" and "Wikipedia-ing"... and this is what I thought. =P (Long, boring post ahead; just warning you guys.)

I’m sure we all know the story of Pinocchio… You know, puppet who was brought to life by the Blue Fairy? The companion and “Conscience”, Jiminy Cricket? Became a “half-donkey” on Pleasure Island, for naughty boys who don’t want to go to school, because he was tricked by the Cat and Fox? Saves his father, Geppeto, from the evil Monstro (that gigantic whale – is it a whale?) and he “dies” heroically at the end after they manage to escape from Monstro by making him sneeze - Geppeto brings him home, where he weeps over Pinocchio’s dead body, and the Blue Fairy comes and says, “You have proved yourself truthful, brave and unselfish. Now you shall become a real boy.” Something like that anyway.

And of course, they all dance at the end and… they live happily ever after.

Typical Disney movies. With all the typical Disney elements, as usual.

But do you know the real story of Pinocchio? *evil grin*

The real Pinocchio is not as “cute” as Disney made him, unlike the original Italian story written by Carlo Lorenzini. I’m sure some of you might have a vague memory or know something about the real Pinocchio. Really, Pinocchio is the worst boy you can ever find, who disobeys Geppeto, who is selfish, naughty and on the extreme end of naughty. Think of the naughtiest and mischievous kids you’ve ever met, and times that by 100. Yes, Pinocchio is that evil. That’s the word for it. Evil.

In fact, while Geppeto was making Pinocchio, in the process of becoming a puppet (the word “marionette” is used in the translation), Pinocchio kept kicking Geppeto (and Pinocchio is made from is very hard wood). And, after he was made, he runs out into the streets, where he manages to get Geppeto arrested by the police (I’m not going to go into details), and then after a whole day, he returns home at night, hungry and exhausted.

At this point in the story, we are introduced to the Cricket, who reveals himself to Pinocchio at and gives Pinocchio some really good advice (for naughty boys who refuse to listen to their daddies XP).

“Woe to boys who refuse to obey their parents and run away from home! They will never be happy in this world, and when they are older they will be very sorry for it.”

And after some retaliation from the stubborn Pinocchio, who tells the Cricket that he hates studying and prefers to playing all day long. The Cricket’s comments make Pinocchio more and more stubborn and angrier as well, and:

“Careful, ugly Cricket! If you make me angry, you’ll be sorry!”

“Poor Pinocchio, I am sorry for you.”

“Why?”

“Because you are a Marionette and, what is much worse, you have a wooden head.”

Hahaha, who knew the Cricket could be so sarcastic.

But unfortunately for him, Pinocchio picked up a hammer in anger, and threw it at the Cricket, “straight on its head.”

And the Cricket dies.

What a radical change from the Disney story. Oh, and the Cricket reappears several time in ghost form to Pinocchio throughout the rest of the story. Hm.

There’s so much more ‘horrors’ (really, and Pinocchio was meant to be a children’s story?). And I can comment so much and analyze the story (but I shall not for the sake of the ppl who dislike Literature). Also, the Fairy in the real story plays a larger role than the Disneyfied version.

In a nutshell, the real story is really a warning to all naughty little boys out there:

1. If you are naughty and don’t listen to your daddy, you shall suffer.
2. You will become a donkey in the end. ^_^ (Not just a puppet with donkey ears and tail. You turn into a full-fledged, “hee-hawing” donkey, ears, tails and all.)
3. You shall be tricked countless times by the Cat and Fox (who you believe to be your friends.)
4. Naughty boys will die (or at least meet some really bad trouble) if they hang out too much with bad friends as naughty as them or even naughtier than them.
5. Bottom line: do not be naughty. Or you’ll become a donkey and die.

Pinocchio isn’t the only original story to become so Disneyfied. If you don’t mind reading e-books and staring at the screen, you can read the whole original story here. It’s not too long, and if you’re free, do take a look. Personally I don’t really like reading books online, as it strains my eyes too much (and the last thing I need is for my degree to become higher) but well, if you want the true "horror" story… go! Read.

Oh yeah, as I said, Pinocchio isn’t the only Disneyfied story; the Little Mermaid as well. The real story by Hans Christian Andersen is just shocking. It’s not as lovey dovey and sweet or cute as Disney turned the story into…

In the original story, the Little Mermaid is called just that: Little Mermaid. No cutesy, unique, weird names. Just the Little Mermaid.

When she goes to the Sea Witch to turn into a human, she drinks that potion and goes all weird, right? The Little Mermaid, when she drank the potion, will suffer the feeling of having a sword pass through her. And at least Ariel didn’t have to go through the eternal, perpetual pain of pins and needles in your feet everytime you walk (as the original Little Mermaid did). Just imagine, everytime you walk, you feel like you’re walking on knives. And I can’t remember, but in the Disney version, I don’t think Ursula didn’t tell Ariel that she’ll die if the Prince doesn’t fall in love with her, right? But yeah, in both stories, they lose their voices in exchange, and can’t talk at all. But the motives and everything are different.

The original Little Mermaid just wants to live with the prince and obtain a soul and go to Heaven. While Ariel just wants the Prince to love her. And vice-versa.

In fact, while the Prince starts to fall for Ariel in the “wonderful world of Disney”, in the original story, he never does. He only loves the Little Mermaid like a parent loves a child, and in the end, falls for another princess from another kingdom (who happened to be the woman who rescued him on the beach after that shipwreck thingie; the Little Mermaid is the true rescuer. But while Ariel sings, the original Little Mermaid doesn’t leave the Prince any memories of her singing. Because she just didn't. ). And while in Disney, Ursula interferes by becoming a beautiful girl to seduce the prince, in the original story, it’s just according to “Fate”.

The thing is, if the Prince doesn’t love and marries the Little Mermaid, then she shall turn into foam and die. That’s the true story.

So, anyway, on the night before the wedding, the Little Mermaid is grieving because she knows that she will die. Her sisters visit her from the sea and tells her that she can become a mermaid again if she kills the Prince with a knife they obtained from the Sea Witch, in exchange for their hair. So obviously, the Sea Witch doesn't play any huge role. (Unlike the power-hungry, psychotic Ursula in Disney.)

But the Little Mermaid loves the Prince too much. She can’t bring herself to kill the Prince, so she throws herself into the sea and dissolves into foam. “But she doesn't die; she becomes a daughter of the air, a being invisible to humans. By striving for 300 years to do good deeds she will earn a soul, and float into the kingdom of heaven. But for every good child a daughter of the air finds she subtracts a year, and for every naughty or wicked child she weeps, and adds a day for every tear.” (As quoted from Wikipedia.) Read the translated original story here. And it’s shorter than Pinocchio, too.



See how evil these fairy tales really are?

Somehow, the original tales appeal more to me rather than the Disneyfied versions. ^^

And no, that’s not because I’m sadistic. O.o

I don't think I sound like Jerry in the last post, did I? I mean... um ... well... I didn't mean to.

But anyway!!

I'm liberated! From the clutches of exam, spelled H-O-R-R-O-R... from that feared word which causes late nights, last-minute cramming, panic attacks, etc. (Any symptom which you have experienced before applies.) Final paper over and done with... but only three weeks to my TEEs (Tertiary Entrance Examinations). And my piano exam.

Three weeks to finish what I've barely begun with my performance notes.

Just about one more month to coming back home.

I can't wait.

Oh, btw... my sister messaged me last night, telling me that I'll be back in time for the Toyota Classics 'used-to-be-annually' concert (27th November). Apparently they're featuring an opera this year, or something? Any of you want to join me? =D I remembered the last one I went to, in Form 4, the Northeast German Philharmonic Orchestra, which was just amazing.

It was the same event afterwards which Zakhir couldn't stop nagging me about countless times, after I gave him the free CD and programme booklet. (I had three of the same thing, as I had gone with my mom and my sister.)

"Why didn't you tell me??"

"Foonga, how could you?? You're supposed to be my friend!!" (accusing tone)

"Look at all the songs!! Oh my gosh, I love those songs, you traitor!!"

Well, something like that, anyway. I'm sure you guys can imagine. This brings up the memory of him with the blue ink back in Primary 6... lol.

I digress. I know that none of you will react like him, anyway. But, seriously, anyone interested in attending the concert this year? =) Ern, Tiong? Someone? Hui? Juang? I know you guys aren't such classical fanatics as I am... but... well, just asking...

Well, I have to go now. And please... don't tell me that I still sound like Jerry in this post... =

Just thought I'll take a "break" from my "break". =P My last paper (Human Biology) is on Thursday, might as well update. I mean, this is turning into Jerry's blog. And I'm sure you people missed seeing my updates, right? Lol. (So thick-skinned.. =P)

It's 6.41 p.m. now. I had my "dinner" an hour ago. Yes, dinner. My homestay has dinner abnormally early. I can still recall sometime at the beginning of this year. It was Feb/March, I think? Sitting in my room happily, doing my own things....

"Connie, chi fan le!"

(Literally, "Connie, eat rice already!" And yes, my homestay are China Chinese. We're just the, you know, "fake" Chinese. Considering how bad most of us are at our "mother" tongues. =P)

I glanced at the time. It is freaking 4.30 p.m.

With my appetite, you can imagine how hungry I was already by 8-ish. And the state of starvation I was in by 9 p.m. And finally cooking some instant mee or just put together some bread and jam by 10 p.m. because I can't take the hunger anymore.

Oh yes. Where was I...? Ah, okay:

It's 6.44 p.m. now. I say that, 'cause I was looking out of the window and suddenly realized... "Hey, it's still bright!"

I'm not being sarcastic here -_-" . The sun's just starting to set. In another one or two more weeks' time, it won't get dark till about 7.30 to 8 p.m.

Spring is finally here.

There's other signs of spring as well, like the naked trees starting to bud again, wildflowers spreading their pollen as far as they can, but... it is still COLD, not COOL. Remnants of Winter still remain behind, refusing to loosen her grip over what control she has left. (Okay, I feel myself switching into very English-y mode... stop. =P)

Sooo... my point is.

I don't know. Just being random..

Can't wait for after Thursday. Actually, not really much freedom or fun either. I still have to study, only about four weeks left before the final exams that will determine my fate (read: which Uni and course I can get into.) Plus, I still have my piano exam, and performance notes to write up, and it's not helping when my teacher told me that I need more time to write those programme notes (research, etc.) and time is what I don't have now.

Hence, I shall stop here and study. (Yeah, what am I still doing here?? o_O)

The sun has gone down too. How appropriate. =D

I bid thee adieu then. Till the sun doth rises again.

^_^

(Pale one retires and hibernates again.)