Sorry for the lack of updates... Blogging still isn't really something I can get used to. There's so many things I want to say, I wish to say, I need to say, but...

Sigh. Been contemplating whether I should let you guys know what's been going on... Feel really messed up, and... oh heck it. I mean, only my friends read this blog, so it's alright I guess. I've told Hui (you would have told Juang, I think) and Joyce a little bit about what's going on (don't know if you guys know what I'm referring to), and last night was on the phone for three hours with Tiong (who unashamedly admitted that he never reads this blog nor read any of my emails earlier in the year. Whacks him).

*stares at the screen*

I think I'll send an email after all...

I miss home... Just one month more... just 30 more days... And my mom still hasn't changed my flight. Don't really want to bother her about it as she's got her hands full already... and it's kind of hard for her to do much, I would think, with her flying in and out of Brunei...

You guys are probably wondering what I'm rambling about... It's ok. I just need to rant. Don't need to understand.

I'm on the verge of panic.

This is so random.

Anyway, auditions on Saturday were... hm... so-so. It took only about 15 min.

After a church brother dropped me off at University of Western Australia, I went to the building where the auditions were held and one of the teachers told me that I could warm up in the other room first, if I wanted to. Apparently they were ahead of time, and were... quite free, so to speak. So I went and just "warmed up" my hands. xp

I had a feeling I was taking longer than expected, so I rushed back and with my heart in my mouth, told them, "Yes, I'm ready."

As far as auditions go, they don't usually listen to the whole song, just a bit of it, so I was already expecting to be "stop"-ped in the middle of my playing.

I started off with Bach's Praeludium and Fuga 12 in F minor.

They listened to the whole of the Prelude. x_x

"Thank you... can we just have a little of the Fugue, please?"

Ok.

I played the first two pages, and just when I was about to turn the page -

"Okay, that's alright. Thank you."

I thought I did rather ... *ahem* good for Bach.

But panic set in when I started on my second piece, Schubert's Impromptu in Gb major. The keys felt foreign to my fingers - I couldn't, simply could not control the inner voice (you don't have to understand what that is) and bring out the melody. My pedalling was a bit weird as well. It sounded terribly messy to me and I was desperately trying to bring the piece under control, but it went further and further beyond my reach. I was almost about to give up by the end of the second page, and actually stopped at the same time the teacher coughed and said,

"Stop."

I breathed. But I felt terrible.

Then, the teacher got up and went to the piano, while saying,

"I'll ask you some aural questions now; I'll be playing some chords on the piano" - He seated himself and played some chords - "and let me know what you think it is - inversion, chord, etc. It's okay if you don't know it."

I grinned nervously and informed him, "Oh... I've... forgotten most of my theory."

"Oh, it's no problem, just try your best."

*swallows hard* I have forgotten virtually everything I've learnt about inversions and cadences. Die.

I stood by the side of the grand piano. It felt like an eternity while he played some random chords and asked me to tell him what I think it is... I felt like a piece of trash on the ground and everyone's trampling on me. It felt like ... a piano exam.

Then it was over. I sat down at the table (there was another old guy sitting there, who was introduced to me as a professor in composition) and the teacher asked if I had any more questions.

Still in a state of panic and nervousness, my mind was blank. So I said, "No."

And that was it.

When everything's over and done with, and calm and peace returns again, now I have some questions to ask him. -_-" Bleh.

Phew. I actually feel better after typing out all this. Lol.

Kudos to you all who actually read up till here. =D

Let's have a party at my place when I get back again...! Hahaha. But please, this time:

1. No throwing cakes in the pool.

2. No shoes and slippers allowed in the water.

3. Most importantly, please don't throw me into the water ... =X

I could still remember that day, after everyone was out and my dad returned home from work... and the sight of him standing by the pool, staring at the water.. =S

Don't think I need to say more. =P