You make me cry. I should stay away from you for my own good, but I keep coming back. But when you're looking like that, how I can help, but come to you?
Okay, that was lame.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Update + An Afternoon with the Pets
Notes to self:
The air-conditioner is my best friend.
Mosquitoes are my sworn enemy.
Shopping with little kids is not a recommended exercise to be undertaken readily.
Some pictures!
Lydia and I left Melbourne on the same night, but to different destinations. Her KL flight left five minutes before mine did. From my window seat, that's her plane! *waves at Lydia seated somewhere on that plane*
Singapore with my aunt, mom, cousins (as pictured), brother (not in picture). I'm behind the camera, thank you very much.
Since I arrived back in Brunei, I've been languishing in the heat. Apart from bumming at home, I've been playing the roles of babysitter and driver. My 10-year-old cousin from Miri came on Thursday (one of the twins), so it's been like a zoo.
Literally.
Meet the two pets.
I let the dog and cat loose in the house for one afternoon. Throw in the 3-year-old little girl, and you get a 3-act circus. I cannot believe the crazy amount of energy those three creatures have packed into their tiny bodies.
Only a few months old, but already planning world dominion.
Seriously.
Athene (that's the name of my cousin) was following the animals' escapades around the house the whole afternoon, and was very entertained by their antics.
(Yeah, I know I'm one to speak, considering that I took all these pictures. What a way to spend the afternoon. Do I really have nothing better to do than to run after animals and desperately snap pictures like paparazzi? And no, I don't need you to answer that question, thank you =P)
The air-conditioner is my best friend.
Mosquitoes are my sworn enemy.
Shopping with little kids is not a recommended exercise to be undertaken readily.
Some pictures!
The little girl, cause of much joy, as well as headaches.
Since I arrived back in Brunei, I've been languishing in the heat. Apart from bumming at home, I've been playing the roles of babysitter and driver. My 10-year-old cousin from Miri came on Thursday (one of the twins), so it's been like a zoo.
Literally.
Meet the two pets.
The kitten stares at the innocent dog with scheming blue eyes as she plots her next attack.
The kitten readies herself to pounce on the unsuspecting dog...
I let the dog and cat loose in the house for one afternoon. Throw in the 3-year-old little girl, and you get a 3-act circus. I cannot believe the crazy amount of energy those three creatures have packed into their tiny bodies.
Only a few months old, but already planning world dominion.
Seriously.
Dog: "I'm tired. Let's take a break."
Cat: That's what you think, buster.
"Geronimo!"
Athene (that's the name of my cousin) was following the animals' escapades around the house the whole afternoon, and was very entertained by their antics.
(Yeah, I know I'm one to speak, considering that I took all these pictures. What a way to spend the afternoon. Do I really have nothing better to do than to run after animals and desperately snap pictures like paparazzi? And no, I don't need you to answer that question, thank you =P)
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Home is still where the heart is
I'm back home! Home alone now, except for the maid and the animals. My mom, aunt, brother and cousins are on the flight now, my dad's going to pick them up, my sister is going to be at school till 6 (?!!) according to my dad, so I'm just bumming now. I'm tired. It's been a whirlwind ever since I arrived in S'pore two days ago.
The cat is adorable and so playful! And I'm glad to see that my dogs still recognize me, especially the big fierce one. The little one seemed extremely excited when I approached her, and the cat is very, very people-friendly. They love each other! (The dog and the cat. Haha.)
My little cousin remembers me! She remembers the flower. Lol.
Weather is SO HUMID. I think I almost melted in Singapore, especially with all the walking. It was raining just now, here (in Brunei), but it's stopped.
My dad picked me up at the airport, and let me drive the Prado home. It feels SO good to drive and not have to take the taxi, bus, walk, or tram.
My thoughts are all over the place, and if I were to keep typing, I'll be rambling on and on, and my post would become completely incoherent. I slept almost the whole way on the flight home just now, and still feeling a bit stoned from the activities of the past few days.
Will update more coherently next time!
The cat is adorable and so playful! And I'm glad to see that my dogs still recognize me, especially the big fierce one. The little one seemed extremely excited when I approached her, and the cat is very, very people-friendly. They love each other! (The dog and the cat. Haha.)
My little cousin remembers me! She remembers the flower. Lol.
Weather is SO HUMID. I think I almost melted in Singapore, especially with all the walking. It was raining just now, here (in Brunei), but it's stopped.
My dad picked me up at the airport, and let me drive the Prado home. It feels SO good to drive and not have to take the taxi, bus, walk, or tram.
My thoughts are all over the place, and if I were to keep typing, I'll be rambling on and on, and my post would become completely incoherent. I slept almost the whole way on the flight home just now, and still feeling a bit stoned from the activities of the past few days.
Will update more coherently next time!
Sunday, November 18, 2007
22 hours
Home, here I come! Technically I won't be home home yet, not until Wednesday, but I'm flying off tomorrow night on the midnight plane (midnight planes, for some reason, make me think about murder mysteries). Will be touching down at Changi Airport at approximately 5.30 a.m. My mom will be meeting me there... I'll probably KO at the hotel for a few hours before shopping and stuff - wait - I will EAT first before that!
Apparently my 3-year-old cousin is coming along too, since there's no one to look after her back home after my aunt sacked yet another (yes, yet another) maid who goes off on midnight rendezvous. My youngest brother is tagging along as well, since he's done with the end-of-year exams and according to my mom, has nothing better to do. Tsk. My sister still has school, so it's just "her, my dad, and the pets".
Wow... this time, tomorrow, I will have been one-and-a-half hours into my journey... probably watching movies or something... I don't know if I can get much sleep on the plane...
Okay. I need to pack.
This will probably the last post before I leave Melbourne... will update as often as I can over the hols back home.
Apparently my 3-year-old cousin is coming along too, since there's no one to look after her back home after my aunt sacked yet another (yes, yet another) maid who goes off on midnight rendezvous. My youngest brother is tagging along as well, since he's done with the end-of-year exams and according to my mom, has nothing better to do. Tsk. My sister still has school, so it's just "her, my dad, and the pets".
Wow... this time, tomorrow, I will have been one-and-a-half hours into my journey... probably watching movies or something... I don't know if I can get much sleep on the plane...
Okay. I need to pack.
This will probably the last post before I leave Melbourne... will update as often as I can over the hols back home.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Epiphany.
Are you really sure? Are you really, really sure that there is no way? No way at all?
I couldn't bring myself to ask those questions, even though I felt quite desperate at the time. But I just couldn't voice my frustrated thoughts out loud. A resigned "Thanks, anyway" and I left. Maybe deep inside, I already know that it wasn't possible.
`
Mistakes.
We make them. Sometimes we learn from them, sometimes we do; sometimes we just don't want to. Some mistakes can be rectified or undone. But certain mistakes, you can never ever undo. Once made, there just doesn't seem to be any way to make things right..
Time.
How often we wish to turn back time when you realize such mistakes. But time slips through our fingers, silently and swiftly; we grasp at it, trying to capture each grain, but each grain, a moment, is ephemeral; it escapes our hands and is lost forever among the myriad of sand.
But it is because of that very nature of moments that we ought to cherish every second, isn't it? The brevity and beauty of each moment in time is something that we often forget. We forget to count our blessings. And before we know it, that moment is gone, and we cannot turn back time, no matter how much we wish for it.
Regrets.
There shouldn't be room for regrets, even when it's tempting to wallow in that bottomless pit of self-pity. But sometimes, after all is said and done, maybe regrets are all that's left. Then that's when the struggle begins.
`
But you know what.
It'll be alright.
I couldn't bring myself to ask those questions, even though I felt quite desperate at the time. But I just couldn't voice my frustrated thoughts out loud. A resigned "Thanks, anyway" and I left. Maybe deep inside, I already know that it wasn't possible.
`
Mistakes.
We make them. Sometimes we learn from them, sometimes we do; sometimes we just don't want to. Some mistakes can be rectified or undone. But certain mistakes, you can never ever undo. Once made, there just doesn't seem to be any way to make things right..
Time.
How often we wish to turn back time when you realize such mistakes. But time slips through our fingers, silently and swiftly; we grasp at it, trying to capture each grain, but each grain, a moment, is ephemeral; it escapes our hands and is lost forever among the myriad of sand.
But it is because of that very nature of moments that we ought to cherish every second, isn't it? The brevity and beauty of each moment in time is something that we often forget. We forget to count our blessings. And before we know it, that moment is gone, and we cannot turn back time, no matter how much we wish for it.
Regrets.
There shouldn't be room for regrets, even when it's tempting to wallow in that bottomless pit of self-pity. But sometimes, after all is said and done, maybe regrets are all that's left. Then that's when the struggle begins.
`
But you know what.
It'll be alright.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
The Aftermath
*heavy silence*
I want to redo my first piece.
And I want my results NOW.
Major de-stressing is in the works tonight. I should be fine by tomorrow.
:(
I want to redo my first piece.
And I want my results NOW.
Major de-stressing is in the works tonight. I should be fine by tomorrow.
:(
I can't stop feeling tense.
Breathe.
*Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.*
Breathe.
Just don't let me feel crap after it.
*Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.*
Breathe.
Just don't let me feel crap after it.
3 days
My final exam for the semester, which happens to be my piano practical exam, is tomorrow.
I've been worrying so much that I can't feel the nervousness and stress anymore. Practicals... I don't think I will ever be prepared for them. Was chatting with a friend, Matthew, on MSN, and he was asking me that. I responded:
"Will I ever be prepared?"
To which he said was a good answer. Haha. (Matthew's a medical student and is graduating in two years' time, which will explain his following comment.)
M: and if i make a mistake its bad for the patient... but if you fumble playing a piano concerto the only person who might get a heart attack is yourself... :(
This is where I stare at the screen in disbelief. Thanks, Matthew.
I'll be in S'pore in a few days from now... Which is fast. I'm leaving on Sunday night, and will be arriving very early on Monday morning at Changi. My mom and aunt are flying out to S'pore on Sunday, and my mom will be coming to meet me (while my aunt will be snoozing happily away back at the hotel, I assume. Haha.) I called home two days ago and she told me that we're staying at Mandarin Hotel (my initial reaction was, "Waaah"), but she proceeded to inform me that we have the first two nights free because of some offer with HSBC or something. Then I went, "Oooh, no wonder." Yaaay... shopping and food. And books and CDs. Shopping! Food! Fooooood!!!
Coming back to that phone call... My 3-year-old cousin is apparently going through a difficult phase where she's literally driving everyone up the wall with her antics and temper. That's not the little girl I remember when I left Brunei in February! :( When I called back that night, she answered the phone, much to my delight. My mom and sister were babysitting her and her sister (my 7-year-old cousin) while my aunt and uncle were out at a wedding dinner that night, so I called my aunt's house phone after some failed attempts at webcamming and video calls on MSN with my sister (no thanks to my wonky Internet connection).
"Hello?"
"Meiiiii!" (Yes, me squealing happily.) I asked her in Mandarin, "Do you still remember me? Connie Jie-Jie? Flower Jie-Jie?" (The flower part is another story.)
*Clank*
I stared at my phone in disbelief (another disbelieving moment). She hung up on me!! Can you believe it??
I called back again and my mom answered, telling me that Athene knocked the phone/threw the phone or something.
Anywaaay. I can't wait to see my cousin again (in spite of this phase she's going through), my dog, the new cat, my home, the new car which is awaiting me to bring her out for a spin (lol), my friends and family (even if not everyone's there).
Okay. I should sleep now. I'm feeling the nerves again. I hope I can sleep.
Practical exam, here I come :(
I've been worrying so much that I can't feel the nervousness and stress anymore. Practicals... I don't think I will ever be prepared for them. Was chatting with a friend, Matthew, on MSN, and he was asking me that. I responded:
"Will I ever be prepared?"
To which he said was a good answer. Haha. (Matthew's a medical student and is graduating in two years' time, which will explain his following comment.)
M: and if i make a mistake its bad for the patient... but if you fumble playing a piano concerto the only person who might get a heart attack is yourself... :(
This is where I stare at the screen in disbelief. Thanks, Matthew.
I'll be in S'pore in a few days from now... Which is fast. I'm leaving on Sunday night, and will be arriving very early on Monday morning at Changi. My mom and aunt are flying out to S'pore on Sunday, and my mom will be coming to meet me (while my aunt will be snoozing happily away back at the hotel, I assume. Haha.) I called home two days ago and she told me that we're staying at Mandarin Hotel (my initial reaction was, "Waaah"), but she proceeded to inform me that we have the first two nights free because of some offer with HSBC or something. Then I went, "Oooh, no wonder." Yaaay... shopping and food. And books and CDs. Shopping! Food! Fooooood!!!
Coming back to that phone call... My 3-year-old cousin is apparently going through a difficult phase where she's literally driving everyone up the wall with her antics and temper. That's not the little girl I remember when I left Brunei in February! :( When I called back that night, she answered the phone, much to my delight. My mom and sister were babysitting her and her sister (my 7-year-old cousin) while my aunt and uncle were out at a wedding dinner that night, so I called my aunt's house phone after some failed attempts at webcamming and video calls on MSN with my sister (no thanks to my wonky Internet connection).
"Hello?"
"Meiiiii!" (Yes, me squealing happily.) I asked her in Mandarin, "Do you still remember me? Connie Jie-Jie? Flower Jie-Jie?" (The flower part is another story.)
*Clank*
I stared at my phone in disbelief (another disbelieving moment). She hung up on me!! Can you believe it??
I called back again and my mom answered, telling me that Athene knocked the phone/threw the phone or something.
Anywaaay. I can't wait to see my cousin again (in spite of this phase she's going through), my dog, the new cat, my home, the new car which is awaiting me to bring her out for a spin (lol), my friends and family (even if not everyone's there).
Okay. I should sleep now. I'm feeling the nerves again. I hope I can sleep.
Practical exam, here I come :(
Saturday, November 10, 2007
The One with the Lift
Characters:
Girl
Guy
The Scene:
The apartment
The lift
Girl is in the lift, heading back to her apartment. She presses '3' for her floor and turns around to notice Guy half-running towards the lift. Girl therefore presses the 'open' button to wait for him.
Guy: Thanks.
Girl acknowledges with a smile. At that moment, her cell phone sounds, signaling a new message. She takes out her phone and reads the message. Lift has already moved. Girl starts to reply the message and glances up when the lift stops. She sees the still highlighted '3' button and thinks, "Oh, he's on the third floor, too!"
Guy steps out. Girl follows. The door facing the lifts on any X floor is X06. Guy heads towards X06 and opens the door. Girl finds this odd.
Thoughts running through Girl's mind:
That's strange, I could have sworn that there was a rowdy family with a bunch of noisy kids staying in 306.
306 has been away for a holiday for some time now, 'cause they've been really quiet for the past few weeks and I haven't seen the family around. Plus, that notice that all the tenants got regarding apartment inspections is STILL lying outside their door, and it's been there for weeks now.
306 must have moved out, because this strange guy has access to the apartment, so we must have new neighbours.
(Yes, it's perfectly plausible for all these thoughts to take place in the span of a few seconds.)
Guy goes into the apartment and Girl finally gets a good look at the apartment number.
1-freaking-06 stares back at her. She feels as if she's just been run over by a lorry.
Girl: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, this is NOT happening. WHAT THE HELL.
She turns around swiftly, dashes back to the lift and slams the 'UP' button. The lift cannot seem to come quick enough and she wishes that the ground would open up and swallow her alive. She fervently hopes that Guy did not notice her scurrying after him when they arrived at the first floor. Although that is probably wishful thinking.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is another humiliating, cringing, 'this-cannot-be-happening' moment in the life of yours truly.
Girl
Guy
The Scene:
The apartment
The lift
Girl is in the lift, heading back to her apartment. She presses '3' for her floor and turns around to notice Guy half-running towards the lift. Girl therefore presses the 'open' button to wait for him.
Guy: Thanks.
Girl acknowledges with a smile. At that moment, her cell phone sounds, signaling a new message. She takes out her phone and reads the message. Lift has already moved. Girl starts to reply the message and glances up when the lift stops. She sees the still highlighted '3' button and thinks, "Oh, he's on the third floor, too!"
Guy steps out. Girl follows. The door facing the lifts on any X floor is X06. Guy heads towards X06 and opens the door. Girl finds this odd.
Thoughts running through Girl's mind:
That's strange, I could have sworn that there was a rowdy family with a bunch of noisy kids staying in 306.
306 has been away for a holiday for some time now, 'cause they've been really quiet for the past few weeks and I haven't seen the family around. Plus, that notice that all the tenants got regarding apartment inspections is STILL lying outside their door, and it's been there for weeks now.
306 must have moved out, because this strange guy has access to the apartment, so we must have new neighbours.
(Yes, it's perfectly plausible for all these thoughts to take place in the span of a few seconds.)
Guy goes into the apartment and Girl finally gets a good look at the apartment number.
1-freaking-06 stares back at her. She feels as if she's just been run over by a lorry.
Girl: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, this is NOT happening. WHAT THE HELL.
She turns around swiftly, dashes back to the lift and slams the 'UP' button. The lift cannot seem to come quick enough and she wishes that the ground would open up and swallow her alive. She fervently hopes that Guy did not notice her scurrying after him when they arrived at the first floor. Although that is probably wishful thinking.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is another humiliating, cringing, 'this-cannot-be-happening' moment in the life of yours truly.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
One more to go!
My hands are emanating various scents of men's colognes. I think I fail at the art of spraying cologne onto the paper strips. Either I spray it too close to the strip that it backfires on my hands, or somehow the bottle refuses to spray properly so that it drips.
Or maybe it's just me.
Yes, my paper is over and done with! My Music Techniques paper went better than expected - my lecturer did mention that the MCQ section would be deliberately difficult, but I think he might have been trying to scare us into studying harder. (I have to confess that I didn't prepare much for my paper... shame on me.) I was able to finish the questions with ample time to check through for parallels or consecutives and other voice-leading errors. (It's okay, you don't have to understand that.) Now let's just hope that I passed. Sigh.
I shall be practicing intensively until next Thursday for my practical exam. I'm already feeling the nerves just thinking about it. (Another sigh.) I want to walk out the room not feeling crappy about my recital.
12 days until S'pore! I need to get my eyes checked and get my lenses or specs replaced. I fear that my astigmatism might have gone up again. I dread hearing the words, "Your astig is very high!" from the optometrist. I get it every time.
The past few days have been insane. I'm still getting over that whirlwind. I'll probably need a day to recuperate.
Or maybe it's just me.
Yes, my paper is over and done with! My Music Techniques paper went better than expected - my lecturer did mention that the MCQ section would be deliberately difficult, but I think he might have been trying to scare us into studying harder. (I have to confess that I didn't prepare much for my paper... shame on me.) I was able to finish the questions with ample time to check through for parallels or consecutives and other voice-leading errors. (It's okay, you don't have to understand that.) Now let's just hope that I passed. Sigh.
I shall be practicing intensively until next Thursday for my practical exam. I'm already feeling the nerves just thinking about it. (Another sigh.) I want to walk out the room not feeling crappy about my recital.
12 days until S'pore! I need to get my eyes checked and get my lenses or specs replaced. I fear that my astigmatism might have gone up again. I dread hearing the words, "Your astig is very high!" from the optometrist. I get it every time.
The past few days have been insane. I'm still getting over that whirlwind. I'll probably need a day to recuperate.
Monday, November 05, 2007
Remember, remember, the 5th of November... =P
A birthday shout-out.
Happy 20th, Fei! Let me welcome you with open arms into the ranks of the recently-turned-20-year-olds. Lol. Have a blessed birthday, and can't wait to catch up with you when I get back to Brunei! Take care.
And Sherissa as well - if you're still reading this blog! Lol. One year older, one year wiser! Hope vet school isn't stressing you out too much! Have a great one =)
Exam period has arrived.
Two words: tired and stressed. I can't wait for the 15th (my last exam) to come and pass. Then I can pack and go home on the 19th.
Happy 20th, Fei! Let me welcome you with open arms into the ranks of the recently-turned-20-year-olds. Lol. Have a blessed birthday, and can't wait to catch up with you when I get back to Brunei! Take care.
And Sherissa as well - if you're still reading this blog! Lol. One year older, one year wiser! Hope vet school isn't stressing you out too much! Have a great one =)
Exam period has arrived.
Two words: tired and stressed. I can't wait for the 15th (my last exam) to come and pass. Then I can pack and go home on the 19th.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
In the middle of the storm
Storms were lashing in Victoria last night. For the first time since I came to Melbourne, there was lightning and thunder. The rain here is normally light and falls gently like a sheen of silk to the ground, but it was considerably heavy last night.
I'm a person who likes the rain. I like watching the rain fall. I love thunderstorms, and watch the lightning streak across the dark skies, illuminating the storm clouds in its brief life. For a split second, that brilliant flash chases away the heavy blackness of the night. And then darkness reigns again. The rhythmic fall of the rain ceases not. The rumble of the thunder follows a few seconds later, and it is scary, yet magnificent at the same time. Does that make me a dark person deep down?
There's something strangely comforting, walking in the rain, feeling the drops hit the umbrella. I can hide from the world under my umbrella. We all put on masks.
My idea of retail therapy involves not clothes, but books and CDs. Walking into a bookstore, I slowly lose myself in the myriad of worlds, fantasies and adventures the books offer me, and for a moment, I can forget everything else around me.
I'm a person who likes the rain. I like watching the rain fall. I love thunderstorms, and watch the lightning streak across the dark skies, illuminating the storm clouds in its brief life. For a split second, that brilliant flash chases away the heavy blackness of the night. And then darkness reigns again. The rhythmic fall of the rain ceases not. The rumble of the thunder follows a few seconds later, and it is scary, yet magnificent at the same time. Does that make me a dark person deep down?
There's something strangely comforting, walking in the rain, feeling the drops hit the umbrella. I can hide from the world under my umbrella. We all put on masks.
My idea of retail therapy involves not clothes, but books and CDs. Walking into a bookstore, I slowly lose myself in the myriad of worlds, fantasies and adventures the books offer me, and for a moment, I can forget everything else around me.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
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