I received yet another one of "those" chain letters - sheesh, don't people just get tired of reading the same things over and over again?? I usually sort through my inbox email by email, starting from the top, and sometimes even the most innocent subjects can be the worst chain-letters. And you just seriously wonder why do people keep falling for it?! Especially when there are glaringly obvious flaws in the contents of the chain letter (email, I should say), itself.
Anyway, chain letters tend to follow a pattern; it's usually "if-you-don't-send-this-out-your-love-life-will-suffer" or "you-will-die-in-16-hours-if-you-do-not-follow-the-instructions". Or it might be "suffer-bad-luck-for-the-rest-of-your-life". Otherwise, it's always something related to love lives (makes you wonder about the people who aren't even in relationships) - "if-you-do-not-send-this-your-loved-one-will-dump-you".
Let's use the one I received today as an example. I won't reproduce the whole thing - it's just sheer idiocy, but let me have my fun of dissecting and lambasting it. *evil grin*
"This chain letter is real so follow the instructions and something good will happen!!"
*Huge, exaggerated yawn* Yeah, yeah, we've heard it all before. And how can you PROVE that it's real?? How is it real? Stop making all these ludicrous statements.
And as if they know you aren't convinced, they have to add an extra statement:
"Listen to this letter and good luck!!"
I won't even bother.
"Sorry, but this chain letter is for real. When Anne Wichert got it for the first time, she ignored it and a week later the love of her life jumped her for no good reason so BEWARE, and just send the stupid letter!!!!!!"
Okay, who the heck is Anne Wichert?! And why do we even care?! If you have like, an article with her photo, with details of her failed relationship, right down to proof of identification, and whatever nonsense, maybe we just might care a little. And why are you apologizing, anyway?! And anyway, millions of rational people probably ignore chain letters, and every day, someone probably gets dumped for "no good reason". And if this letter is "stupid", why are you even creating it?? (I assume that all chain letters must have originated from some smart wiseguy who has nothing better to do than to mess with the lives of innocent people.)
And then, after all this "declarations" and "statements", you have the usual contents - it's either some sort of retarded quiz, or just a really lo-so article on love and in my case, an article describing the rules of kissing and what-nots. (Tet~) Nonsense lar!!
Let's move on to the funniest (and lamest) joke I've ever seen -
"This chain started in 1887."
1887?! You've got to be kidding me. I almost fell off my chair. Wah-lau eh, I don't think technology was so advanced lor. And yeah, you may have the traditional "snail mail", but still!! I'm just thinking that it's extremely retarded that let's say, one person received this letter by snail mail in maybe 1995? (Computers becoming quite household already.) And let's say this person freaks out and goes, "Hey, look, e-mail! Fast, right? And can spread to even more people! Muahaha. I'm saved from the bad luck! (And I save tons on postage and envelopes as well~)."
Or whatever.
Never mind. Basically, it just sounds ridiculous to make a statement like that - for all you know, it might have started in 1500s or the Middle Ages~
Anyway.
"It is a love chain letter."
Like, duh, we know that.
"In an hour you are supposed to send it to 25 people. It is easy, just look into chat rooms and find them."
-___-"
I don't even go to chatrooms anymore (except when I want to download something, and we have MSN now~ maybe this chain letter was created in the late 1990s after all. And hey, what do you know, another major flaw - chatrooms in 1887!! You've got to be kidding me, right. And in 1887, can any ordinary person be able to replicate this letter and send it out to 25 people in only one hour??
Let's imagine:
A woman living in 1887 receives this in her mailbox outside her pristine country home. "Oh no," she exclaims. "If I don't send this to 25 people in 1 hour, I'll have bad luck in my love life! (What are chatrooms, anyway?) Never mind - must quickly get some pen and paper now, and envelopes and stamps!" (By the way, was the postal system already in effect by the late 1880s?)
I estimate that to replicate one letter will probably take 10 min or more - in cursive writing some more. (Since people tend to write in cursive in those times.)
Forget it.
"Anyway, send it to 25 people in 1 hour."
Yes, we've already got that in our heads.
"Now here comes the fun part."
Ooooh, what's that?? (/sarcasm)
"You then say the name of the person you like or love and then the person will say 'I love you,' or 'will you go out with me?'"
You know, if things can happen this easily, just by simply following some dumb instructions in a dodgy chain letter... And anyway, that's supposed to be "fun"?
And as if knowing that we doubt the authenticity of the letter -
"NO JOKE!!!!!"
In caps some more - plus 5 exclamation marks to augment the "seriousness" of the situation. -_-"
And as with every chain letter, you have the "consequences":
"If you break the chain letter, you will have bad luck in future relationships. If you don't break the chain, then you will be a happy camper!!!"
This ridiculous statement speaks for itself. Moving on~
"CONgRatULaTioNs! !"
Congratulations? Read on...
"You have been chosen to participate in the LONGEST and the LUCKIEST chain letter on the Internet! Once you read, this letter you must IMMEDIATELY (meaning within the hour) be sent to 25 people. After you send it, make a wish and it will come TRUE"
Oooh, don't you just feel honoured to have been "chosen"? It's not like we had a choice lor! (And again - 1887 = Internet??) They just keep reiterating the "1-hour, 25 people" thing.
Make a wish and it will come true? That belongs in the fairytales. And because these doubts are creeping into your head, and in case you're one of those people who decide to "send it later on, just in case", the chain letter warns you in a really loud voice (because it's typed in CAPS)
"YOU MAY NOT WAIT FOR A CERTAIN TIME TO SEND IT......"
Okay, okay, don't need to shout!!
"....REMEMBER, IT MUST BE SENT TO 25 PEOPLE WITHIN 1 HOUR, OR YOUR WISH WILL NOT COME TRUE!"
I think the numbers 25 and 1 hour will be floating around in my head for the next hour or so.
The climax is really at in this statement:
"If THIS CHAIN LETTER IS CONTINUED UNTIL THE YEAR 2004, IT WILL BE PLACED IN THE GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS!"
LOL. I won't even try to tear this statement apart. I think the absurdity of it pretty much brought it down already.
And because you still won't believe it, the letter begs you not to listen to the logic in your brain which tells you to just press the "Delete" button on top of the screen and watch it sit in your Trash folder:
"PLEASE CONTINUE IT NOW!!!"
x_x
And as usual, after the "consequences", you have the familiar "warning":
"IF YOU DO NOT PASS THIS ON, SOMETHING BAD OR WORSE WILL HAPPEN TO YOU:"
I think we already got that idea from the very beginning of the letter when we read about Anne-what's-her-name who got dumped.
"NOTE: THE MORE PEOPLE YOU SEND THIS TO THE MORE LUCK YOU WILL HAVE IN YOUR LOVE LIFE."
I think we'll get more bad luck considering the irritation of our friends who receive childish chain letters like this.
*Whack*
"What was that for?!"
"Flood my inbox with such nonsense lah!"
"IF YOU BREAK THE CHAIN LETTER (IT HAS BEEN GOING SINCE 1887) YOU WILL HAVE BAD LUCK WITH YOUR LOVE LIFE FOR SEVEN YEARS."
Sheesh, enough with the 1887 thing already! And that whole bad luck thing! Life itself is full of ups and downs - if we can make our lives stress-free, bad-luck-free, and everything else free, then what's the point? There's no excitement and "life" in cruising along smoothly. We need bumps now and then to help us learn and get us through our journey.
The funniest part of all:
"THIS IS NO JOKE".
LOL.
And hey, what do you know, it's already an hour *huge grin*. Does that mean I will be plummeted with bad luck from now on for the next seven years?
If I add up all the chain letters I've ignored thus far, I think I should be suffering for the rest of my life. =D Otherwise, I ought to be, by right, already dead. -_-" And I'm sure a lot of people ignore chain letters as well.
P/S. I might sound a bit too condescending in this post... but it's all in jest! Just pretend I'm Jerry blogging. =P (No offense meant to you, Jerry! Lol. J/k.)
Let's use the one I received today as an example. I won't reproduce the whole thing - it's just sheer idiocy, but let me have my fun of dissecting and lambasting it. *evil grin*
"This chain letter is real so follow the instructions and something good will happen!!"
*Huge, exaggerated yawn* Yeah, yeah, we've heard it all before. And how can you PROVE that it's real?? How is it real? Stop making all these ludicrous statements.
And as if they know you aren't convinced, they have to add an extra statement:
"Listen to this letter and good luck!!"
I won't even bother.
"Sorry, but this chain letter is for real. When Anne Wichert got it for the first time, she ignored it and a week later the love of her life jumped her for no good reason so BEWARE, and just send the stupid letter!!!!!!"
Okay, who the heck is Anne Wichert?! And why do we even care?! If you have like, an article with her photo, with details of her failed relationship, right down to proof of identification, and whatever nonsense, maybe we just might care a little. And why are you apologizing, anyway?! And anyway, millions of rational people probably ignore chain letters, and every day, someone probably gets dumped for "no good reason". And if this letter is "stupid", why are you even creating it?? (I assume that all chain letters must have originated from some smart wiseguy who has nothing better to do than to mess with the lives of innocent people.)
And then, after all this "declarations" and "statements", you have the usual contents - it's either some sort of retarded quiz, or just a really lo-so article on love and in my case, an article describing the rules of kissing and what-nots. (Tet~) Nonsense lar!!
Let's move on to the funniest (and lamest) joke I've ever seen -
"This chain started in 1887."
1887?! You've got to be kidding me. I almost fell off my chair. Wah-lau eh, I don't think technology was so advanced lor. And yeah, you may have the traditional "snail mail", but still!! I'm just thinking that it's extremely retarded that let's say, one person received this letter by snail mail in maybe 1995? (Computers becoming quite household already.) And let's say this person freaks out and goes, "Hey, look, e-mail! Fast, right? And can spread to even more people! Muahaha. I'm saved from the bad luck! (And I save tons on postage and envelopes as well~)."
Or whatever.
Never mind. Basically, it just sounds ridiculous to make a statement like that - for all you know, it might have started in 1500s or the Middle Ages~
Anyway.
"It is a love chain letter."
Like, duh, we know that.
"In an hour you are supposed to send it to 25 people. It is easy, just look into chat rooms and find them."
-___-"
I don't even go to chatrooms anymore (except when I want to download something, and we have MSN now~ maybe this chain letter was created in the late 1990s after all. And hey, what do you know, another major flaw - chatrooms in 1887!! You've got to be kidding me, right. And in 1887, can any ordinary person be able to replicate this letter and send it out to 25 people in only one hour??
Let's imagine:
A woman living in 1887 receives this in her mailbox outside her pristine country home. "Oh no," she exclaims. "If I don't send this to 25 people in 1 hour, I'll have bad luck in my love life! (What are chatrooms, anyway?) Never mind - must quickly get some pen and paper now, and envelopes and stamps!" (By the way, was the postal system already in effect by the late 1880s?)
I estimate that to replicate one letter will probably take 10 min or more - in cursive writing some more. (Since people tend to write in cursive in those times.)
Forget it.
"Anyway, send it to 25 people in 1 hour."
Yes, we've already got that in our heads.
"Now here comes the fun part."
Ooooh, what's that?? (/sarcasm)
"You then say the name of the person you like or love and then the person will say 'I love you,' or 'will you go out with me?'"
You know, if things can happen this easily, just by simply following some dumb instructions in a dodgy chain letter... And anyway, that's supposed to be "fun"?
And as if knowing that we doubt the authenticity of the letter -
"NO JOKE!!!!!"
In caps some more - plus 5 exclamation marks to augment the "seriousness" of the situation. -_-"
And as with every chain letter, you have the "consequences":
"If you break the chain letter, you will have bad luck in future relationships. If you don't break the chain, then you will be a happy camper!!!"
This ridiculous statement speaks for itself. Moving on~
"CONgRatULaTioNs! !"
Congratulations? Read on...
"You have been chosen to participate in the LONGEST and the LUCKIEST chain letter on the Internet! Once you read, this letter you must IMMEDIATELY (meaning within the hour) be sent to 25 people. After you send it, make a wish and it will come TRUE"
Oooh, don't you just feel honoured to have been "chosen"? It's not like we had a choice lor! (And again - 1887 = Internet??) They just keep reiterating the "1-hour, 25 people" thing.
Make a wish and it will come true? That belongs in the fairytales. And because these doubts are creeping into your head, and in case you're one of those people who decide to "send it later on, just in case", the chain letter warns you in a really loud voice (because it's typed in CAPS)
"YOU MAY NOT WAIT FOR A CERTAIN TIME TO SEND IT......"
Okay, okay, don't need to shout!!
"....REMEMBER, IT MUST BE SENT TO 25 PEOPLE WITHIN 1 HOUR, OR YOUR WISH WILL NOT COME TRUE!"
I think the numbers 25 and 1 hour will be floating around in my head for the next hour or so.
The climax is really at in this statement:
"If THIS CHAIN LETTER IS CONTINUED UNTIL THE YEAR 2004, IT WILL BE PLACED IN THE GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS!"
LOL. I won't even try to tear this statement apart. I think the absurdity of it pretty much brought it down already.
And because you still won't believe it, the letter begs you not to listen to the logic in your brain which tells you to just press the "Delete" button on top of the screen and watch it sit in your Trash folder:
"PLEASE CONTINUE IT NOW!!!"
x_x
And as usual, after the "consequences", you have the familiar "warning":
"IF YOU DO NOT PASS THIS ON, SOMETHING BAD OR WORSE WILL HAPPEN TO YOU:"
I think we already got that idea from the very beginning of the letter when we read about Anne-what's-her-name who got dumped.
"NOTE: THE MORE PEOPLE YOU SEND THIS TO THE MORE LUCK YOU WILL HAVE IN YOUR LOVE LIFE."
I think we'll get more bad luck considering the irritation of our friends who receive childish chain letters like this.
*Whack*
"What was that for?!"
"Flood my inbox with such nonsense lah!"
"IF YOU BREAK THE CHAIN LETTER (IT HAS BEEN GOING SINCE 1887) YOU WILL HAVE BAD LUCK WITH YOUR LOVE LIFE FOR SEVEN YEARS."
Sheesh, enough with the 1887 thing already! And that whole bad luck thing! Life itself is full of ups and downs - if we can make our lives stress-free, bad-luck-free, and everything else free, then what's the point? There's no excitement and "life" in cruising along smoothly. We need bumps now and then to help us learn and get us through our journey.
The funniest part of all:
"THIS IS NO JOKE".
LOL.
And hey, what do you know, it's already an hour *huge grin*. Does that mean I will be plummeted with bad luck from now on for the next seven years?
If I add up all the chain letters I've ignored thus far, I think I should be suffering for the rest of my life. =D Otherwise, I ought to be, by right, already dead. -_-" And I'm sure a lot of people ignore chain letters as well.
P/S. I might sound a bit too condescending in this post... but it's all in jest! Just pretend I'm Jerry blogging. =P (No offense meant to you, Jerry! Lol. J/k.)
2 comments:
man, i hate chain mails too. hate it when ppl send me by the truckloads.
i always email them back personally to tell them to remove me from the mail list.
lol
i know!!
i shld have already have some car accidents, get visited by some ghost, have bad luck for the rest of my life, be lonely . . .etc
i reckon Sadako started all this with her movie! oh, no offence to Sadako! =X
dj x0x0x
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