Sigh. I know that I said I'll be on hiatus for two months, but...
Was recording my audition tape the whole day today, from about 11 a.m. until 4 p.m. Plus an extra 30 min to record to my laptop and burn it to CD. Gaaah. THREE songs only. 3 classical songs, only 20 minutes long altogether, and I needed, what, FIVE hours to record it. I kept recording the first song over and over again 'cause I was not satisfied. Major stress. I loathe that song now. In fact, I had to redo the first two songs quite a number of times. My last piece was the only one which I could do in one go.
I must really thank Sherissa for helping me out with the video cam. I feel so retarded, looking at myself play. -_-" I still made a few mistakes, and I feel I can play better, but ah well. I called my teacher halfway through and she said that it's alright to make mistakes, it doesn't have to be perfect.
Then I called my mom, and she thinks that I shouldn't apply to Indiana U. anymore (sorry, Jerry!) My mom was thinking about it the past few days and she thinks that it's just too expensive to send me over to USA at this moment, what's more with THREE siblings behind me whom my dad still has to support. Sigh... then she said that I can always do my Masters there, after I finish my Bachelor degree here.
If I get accepted into Melbourne Uni or UWA, that is. And if I have that kind of ability to do Masters. (Thinking too far...)
Down to two unis. Talked to Ern just now and he asked, why not apply to UK. I dunno, I guess that I've ruled out UK unis 'cause of the really expensive tuition fees, after my mom said that it's just too much. And again, 'cause I still have two brothers and one sister my dad has to support. *Sings "It's all 'bout the money"~*
Sigh.
I don't mind doing my Bachelor degree here. Indiana U. would probably be better for Master and Doctorate degrees anyway, I guess. What's more, I never had the confidence that I could get accepted anyway. Their requirements are really high. (I mean, they have two Julliard School graduates on the piano faculty!! Julliard!!!) And my own piano teacher did say that I should just study here first...
My mom is still keen on me to do English. So I guess I'll probably like, do a double degree in Music/Arts.
Or something.
I still would like to study in the States. But as I said, if I have that ability, then I shall do my Masters or something there. Sigh. I know I can't give up Music. I can't.
I guess applying to universities isn't as easy as it appears... Money is always a big factor.
7 comments:
yup..money is always a deciding factor...
if i had that type of moolas...i will be in UK doing the Veterinary College liao..haha..
we will make do eh.
Money.
it's not the most impt.
but u just can't live w/o it!
btw, how many times do i need to tell u to have more confindence with urself? don't u ever think "i can't do this.. i can't make it" coz u can.
connie! wow! a major in arts.. that's really cool!! i guess just trust God and let Him open the doors for you!! all the best! *hugs* have fun alryte? keep blogging 'cos i'm having fun reading them! *hugs*
<3,
bev
sherissa: haha, what to do, we don't have that kind of riches. the rich kids don't know how good they've got it, and it's really sick to see them come here just to waste their parents' money.
Jerry: you do your PhD and graduate studies still in USA, isn't it? i guess since i'm serious about music, i'll most probably be doing my graduate studies in the states.. Remember that pianist who came last year to perform for us? I asked him abt USA unis, and he said that the graduate programs are always better than undergraduate anyway.. so i guess i don't really mind.
dj: well, it's healthy to doubt now and then, and then be pleasantly surprised later on. hahaha. silly excuse, i know.
bev: bevvvy!!!! *hugs* miss you, girl!! thanks for being one of my loyal readers... hahaha. yeah, basically i'm just going to pray and trust in God. it's all according to His will, and I can only believe and trust.. "Don't be scared, just believe," was what Jesus said in the gospel of Mark. you take care as well, and good luck with ur exams!
hey conz..i was reading ur blogs n i realised how inconfident u r bout urself.i do sometimes..surprised to know.but i keep this in mind "God is with me, He is blessing me..He shall grant me victory. i'm fearless bcoz nothing can defeat the One blessing me.. BE FEARLESS..BE CONFIDENT..HE is by u..protecting u guiding u..n trust Him coz He never takes u to the wrong path. N if things turn out differently, it's all for a purpose.." i believe u can do it.all of us here believe so too..so have faith..all the best...miz ya!pale one!
put all your fears in God's hands...and everything will be well! ;) don't always think low of urself...
plus, when u finally become a pianist...we, ur loyal readers, will get FREE entertainment...
so you can count on us to back you up anytime! ;)
chewy, juang, fei, shar...
*hugs* to all of you.. thanks for your words of encouragement... and yup, the only thing i can do now is to just put my faith and trust in God who will "never leave [me] nor forsake [me]".. and sharon, what do you mean "when i become a pianist".. i've always been a pianist... hahaha. (how's that for confidence? ;p)
and don't worry, if, no, WHEN i finally make it big, you guys will be in the front row. =)
miss you all!
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