These are the days of wine and roses.
It's been often said that time seems to speed up in times of mirth and happiness but a minute seems a day when there appear to be nothing but sorrow and weeping in our days. But these moments pass, and while some may leave significant scars or memories, "they are not long".
I may not be a sage or a wise old woman who has seen and experienced much in her long, colourful life, but when I think about the future ahead of me, I wonder if I will be content. Will I be married to a loving husband, with kids and a successful career? Will I even get married? Where would I be? Will my friends still remain the same? Will I be who I am now? Or will I have changed into another person unrecognizable by myself?
I want to cherish my years now. This moment, now, it is precious. Cliche as it is, time, once gone, can never be had again. Everyday is a new gift from God; His mercies are new every morning. Because once you get into the working world, it'll be harder.
Ever since I decided that Music is my path, I've been haunted by doubts and fears about this road I have chosen to travel down. Passing my DipABRSM played a major role in it - I don't usually struck bargains with God, but at that point in time, I knew I was very unprepared for my exam, and that it would take a miracle for me to pass. But pass I did - and I knew then, that God was still by my side, holding my hand and guiding me down this road. I still do not know if Music is a career - or a calling, but the mere fact that I passed by a few marks was a confirmation from God. Because considering the lack of practice and commitment I had put into passing my exam, it was truly a miracle.
But still I doubted, and I actually started out my first year in uni rejecting my confirmed enrolment in Music, and switching to Arts; and immediately I regretted what I had done. Three weeks into the new semester, I did what I could to turn around my mistake, and thank God that I was able to go down this path.
People. Whether we like it or not, we are judgmental by nature, in some way or another. More so, I would think, especially in the Asian society. "Oh, so you're in university now? What course are you doing?" is an inevitable question I face whenever I go back. "Music/Arts," is my reply. A surprised look and a seemingly forced laugh. "Music? What are you going to be? A teacher?" More laughter.
In truth, I hate it. I hate it when they do that. I may not be on my way to becoming a doctor who saves lives, or an engineer or an architect. Or a pharmacist or some amazing profession, but this is what I have chosen. I don't need to see your surprise or that 'pity' at my decision. I know what they're thinking: Why are you going down this path?? I know that I could be doing something better, something more - "professional", which would ensure me a more financially secured future, but this is my passion. This is what I have decided.
It's hard especially when I see everyone around me going down such respectable paths and on their ways to become budding lawyers, doctors, dentists, pharmacists, etc. It's hard knowing that I could have gone down that path as well.
But this is my choice. There's no turning back from here.
...
They are not long, the days of wine and roses:
Out of a misty dream
Our path emerges for a while, then closes
Within a dream.
It's been often said that time seems to speed up in times of mirth and happiness but a minute seems a day when there appear to be nothing but sorrow and weeping in our days. But these moments pass, and while some may leave significant scars or memories, "they are not long".
I may not be a sage or a wise old woman who has seen and experienced much in her long, colourful life, but when I think about the future ahead of me, I wonder if I will be content. Will I be married to a loving husband, with kids and a successful career? Will I even get married? Where would I be? Will my friends still remain the same? Will I be who I am now? Or will I have changed into another person unrecognizable by myself?
I want to cherish my years now. This moment, now, it is precious. Cliche as it is, time, once gone, can never be had again. Everyday is a new gift from God; His mercies are new every morning. Because once you get into the working world, it'll be harder.
Ever since I decided that Music is my path, I've been haunted by doubts and fears about this road I have chosen to travel down. Passing my DipABRSM played a major role in it - I don't usually struck bargains with God, but at that point in time, I knew I was very unprepared for my exam, and that it would take a miracle for me to pass. But pass I did - and I knew then, that God was still by my side, holding my hand and guiding me down this road. I still do not know if Music is a career - or a calling, but the mere fact that I passed by a few marks was a confirmation from God. Because considering the lack of practice and commitment I had put into passing my exam, it was truly a miracle.
But still I doubted, and I actually started out my first year in uni rejecting my confirmed enrolment in Music, and switching to Arts; and immediately I regretted what I had done. Three weeks into the new semester, I did what I could to turn around my mistake, and thank God that I was able to go down this path.
People. Whether we like it or not, we are judgmental by nature, in some way or another. More so, I would think, especially in the Asian society. "Oh, so you're in university now? What course are you doing?" is an inevitable question I face whenever I go back. "Music/Arts," is my reply. A surprised look and a seemingly forced laugh. "Music? What are you going to be? A teacher?" More laughter.
In truth, I hate it. I hate it when they do that. I may not be on my way to becoming a doctor who saves lives, or an engineer or an architect. Or a pharmacist or some amazing profession, but this is what I have chosen. I don't need to see your surprise or that 'pity' at my decision. I know what they're thinking: Why are you going down this path?? I know that I could be doing something better, something more - "professional", which would ensure me a more financially secured future, but this is my passion. This is what I have decided.
It's hard especially when I see everyone around me going down such respectable paths and on their ways to become budding lawyers, doctors, dentists, pharmacists, etc. It's hard knowing that I could have gone down that path as well.
But this is my choice. There's no turning back from here.
...
They are not long, the days of wine and roses:
Out of a misty dream
Our path emerges for a while, then closes
Within a dream.
3 comments:
Hey, I dunno, thought I'd toss in my 2 cents :)
I will simply say that I have infinitely higher respect for those who choose the path before them because they truly believe that is what they have been called to do.
It annoys me infinitely more when people simply choose because thats what their parents want them to do. The clip below is something of the passion I wish teachers had for their profession.
www.youtube.com/v/RxsOVK4syxU
But then that's the point of Mat 6:25-27 right? Who cares what others think, only what God cares about. Anyhoo back to study ciao :)
Thanks =) Just needed to get that out, I guess; I know I shouldn't care about what others think, but it frustrates me how people still look down on teaching as a profession; perhaps not here in Australia, but maybe more in Asia. I don't know what my future holds for me, but I know for sure that God will be there.
i always felt that it takes alot of courage to do music. i really do.
as long as you, yourself are contented with what you are pursuing, just 6 words for you...
"don't see, don't care, don't bother"
=)
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