Last (?)

I know I'm long overdued for an update.

Honestly speaking, I don't know why I bother maintaining this blog anymore, if not for the sake of just updating and posting about some general event or random topics. I think the main reason why Jerry and I began this blog together was really for the intention of keeping you all updated and informed on what's going on in our lives, etc. etc. And I've come to the realization that I haven't really been doing that. I mean, heck, how many of you know what's happening with me right now?

I haven't talked to Jerry in a long time now, and I have not seen him in more than 2 years. It's easy to say, "Yes, an update is coming along soon", but I think blogging has to stem from some sort of interest too, I suppose. And I guess maybe it's just not his sort of thing? I don't know.

I'm finding that I'm starting to lose that interest too. The nature of my posts have changed over the past two years too, and it's just become more and more vague and general in recent times - okay, frankly speaking, it's just boring. Even I don't feel like reading the last few posts I've written! I censure myself so much that I'm left with nothing to share about, except for really... well, "general" events happening. I was probably more... I don't know, funny and "entertaining" in the early stages of this blog? And probably less reserved, too.

And the thing is, there are things going on in my life. There are issues I'm going through, there are so many things I'm excited for, fearful of - ups and downs, all of them. Oh, I don't know. I guess I just really need to stop censuring myself so much on this blog. But as I mentioned in one post ages ago, there is only so much you can say on a public blog.

If I were to really just let loose and stop holding back, the torrents of words that will be released would probably surprise some of you.

So I don't know... maybe it's time I just leave this blog as it is. As in, this is it - this will be my "swansong". I don't exactly know where I'm going with this blog anymore - I used to email, and I was probably a lot more open in those too..

But at the same time, one part of me is not quite ready to hang up the boots yet - one option is that I'm considering changing the URL - all these past posts will still be here, but I'll probably change the way I blog. (And I will let you know the new URL if you ask, I suppose.) And then I won't hold back so much.

I love writing. I really do. And that's probably why I'm not ready to "kill" this blog.

So... check back in a week's time. If I've locked this blog, then.. that means "the end", I suppose (if that does happen, it doesn't mean I won't ever blog again, though). If the URL has become non-existent, then I've probably decided to change the URL, and will blog more openly in that new environment.

I'm of the opinion that public blogs really thrive because of the readers - knowing that someone's reading does give you that inspiration to go on sometimes. So in the meantime, thank you for still reading this blog, despite how stagnant it's become.